The Biggest Problem In The Universe

RIP: 2014 - 2016

All the problems in the universe, in descending order.

The Biggest Problem in the Universe was a show where my goal was to rank every problem in the universe, from biggest to smallest. Each episode, several problems were discussed, and the listener's job was to vote on which problem was bigger so over time, we'd have a list of all the problems in the universe, from Ants to AIDS. Or if you prefer alphabetical rather than scope for your sorting, from AIDS to Zits. The show had 105 live episodes, plus 2 "Best Of" episodes with live-recorded bumpers. It was a lot of fun to do while it lasted, and the show wouldn't have been the same without the tremendous fan support.


All of the content from the old site will remain here indefinitely. I've uploaded every episode of the old show to SoundCloud where they can remain hosted for free. You can comment on the tracks themselves, as well as listen to it with an RSS reader, or if you prefer, the entire playlist is available at the bottom of this page. Some people prefer YouTube, but due to DMCA issues, these tracks can't be uploaded there because they'll eventually be claimed due to MCN music licensing agreements.

I've made this archive as complete as possible. You're welcome.

Maddox

Special thanks to Megan Pennock for her tremendous help converting the site to static HTML.

Episode 1

Episode 2

Episode 3

Episode 4

Episode 5

Episode 6

Episode 7

Episode 8

Episode 9

Episode 10

Episode 11

Episode 12

Episode 13

Episode 14

Episode 15

Episode 16

Episode 17

Episode 18

Episode 19

Episode 20

Episode 21

Episode 22

Episode 23

Episode 24

Episode 25

Episode 26

Episode 27

Episode 28

Episode 29

Episode 30

Episode 31

Episode 32

Episode 33

Episode 34

Episode 35

Episode 36

Episode 37

Episode 38

Episode 39

Episode 40

Episode 41

Episode 42

Episode 43

Episode 44

Episode 45

Episode 46

Episode 47

Episode 48

Episode 49

Episode 50

Episode 51

Episode 52

Episode 53

Episode 54

Episode 55

Episode 56

Episode 57

Episode 58

Episode 59

Episode 60

Episode 61

Episode 62

Episode 63

Episode 64

Episode 65

Episode 66

Episode 67

Episode 68

Episode 69

Episode 70

Episode 71

Episode 72

Episode 73

Episode 74

Episode 75

Episode 76

Episode 77

Episode 78

Episode 79

Episode 80

Episode 81

Episode 82

Episode 83

Episode 84

Episode 85

Episode 86

Episode 87

Episode 88

Episode 89

Episode 90

Episode 91

Episode 92

Episode 93

Episode 94

Episode 95

Episode 96

Episode 97

Episode 98

Episode 99

Episode 100

Episode 101

Episode 102

Episode 103

Episode 104

Episode 105

Episode 106

Episode 107

Rank
All the problems:
1 Anti-Vaxxers 12010
2 Social Justice Warriors (SJW) 10779
3 Female Genital Mutilation 10772
4 Slacktivists 10479
5 Militarized Police 10321
6 Engineering Sexism 8627
7 Conspiracy Dipshits 8478
8 Armchair Psychologists 7298
9 Hunger 6591
10 Outrage Porn 5982
11 Celebrity Worship 5807
12 Other N-words 5626
13 The Nuremberg Defense 5095
14 Well-Intentioned Idiots 4744
15 Beats By Dre 4629
16 Obesity 4494
17 Pyramid Schemes / Herbalife 4402
18 Transportation Security Administration (TSA) 4286
19 Student Loans 4181
20 Loud Muffler Douchebags 4168
21 Diamonds 4067
22 Airline Surcharges 3988
23 Data Caps 3932
24 Wage Gap Truthers 3911
25 Movie Ratings 3842
26 People Who Can't Eat Spicy Food 3818
27 Horoscopes 3738
28 Facebook Satire Tags 3564
29 AIDS 3471
30 Shame Shaming 3462
31 Nepotism 3445
32 The Huffington Post 3391
33 Self-Defeating Thoughts 3383
34 Anti-Intellectualism 3283
35 Drones 3247
36 Game Post-Purchases 3239
37 Toms Shoes 3212
38 Wage Theft 3138
39 Pedophiles 3121
40 Facebook 3091
41 Priests 3068
42 People Who Don't Value Science 3056
43 Parents Television Council 2920
44 Ebola Alarmists 2905
45 Cold Lasers 2891
46 Burnt Popcorn 2886
47 iPhone 6 2812
48 Hipsters 2799
49 California Drought Dickbags 2792
50 Monkey Copyrights 2777
51 Penis Injuries 2764
52 Bro-Downs 2759
53 Unexpected Guests 2755
54 Game Pre-Purchases 2738
55 Car Insurance 2715
56 Audio Engineers Deleting Podcasts 2678
57 Manspreading Discontent 2676
58 Unsolicited Advice 2660
59 People Who Don't Curb Their Dogs 2648
60 Utah 2631
61 Non-Apologies 2620
62 Ghostbusting the Patriarchy 2618
63 Not Enough Black Friday Violence 2606
64 Hippies 2592
65 Mars One 2534
66 Transgendered MMA Fighters 2530
67 Stonewalling Vegans 2524
68 Shitty Dads 2507
69 Terrorism 2479
70 Guys Who Need to Get Laid 2460
71 Bacon Worship 2421
72 Rose Peddlers 2400
73 Valentine's Day 2395
74 Fit Shaming 2383
75 Loud Talkers 2373
76 Teleology 2371
77 Perfectionism 2355
78 Domestic Violence 2317
79 Bad Haircuts 2305
80 Newscasterbation 2304
81 Type 2 Diabetes 2301
82 Honor Killings 2273
83 Ethnic Cleansing 2266
84 College 2247
85 Witch Alarmists 2222
86 Shitty Passengers 2222
87 Reefer Madness 2200
88 Not Enough Toilets 2187
89 Earthquakes 2184
90 Shitting After You Shower 2166
91 Cheating 2164
92 Daylight Saving Time 2161
93 Crying 2156
94 Not Enough Organ Donors 2124
95 Piss Driblets 2089
96 Pennies 2087
97 Chump Syndrome 2085
98 Lesser Minds 2065
99 Non-Porn Porn 2019
100 People Texting in Public Walkways 2001
101 Food Waste 1981
102 Detox Diets 1980
103 Meetings 1960
104 High School Prom 1950
105 Infantilism 1927
106 "Not all blank" Knee-Jerks 1926
107 Trans Fats / Partially Hydrogenated Oils 1924
108 Friend-Zoned Pussies 1921
109 Sony 1902
110 The Virginity Stigma 1874
111 The Plastic Bag Ban 1853
112 Bad Blowjobs 1846
113 Recently Enlightened People 1844
114 Webby Awards 1839
115 Filter Bubbles 1826
116 Affluenza 1806
117 People Who Can't Cook 1798
118 Losing Your Cell Phone 1787
119 Backseat Drivers 1765
120 Flat Tires 1756
121 Toddlers 1753
122 Psychics 1751
123 Hoverboard Hoaxes 1734
124 Paralysis 1729
125 Made In China 1712
126 Black Income Disparity 1697
127 Snapchats of Not Tits 1675
128 Vine Stars 1674
129 Buying Christmas Gifts 1661
130 Initiating a Conversation 1642
131 Human Robots 1637
132 Unappreciated Artists 1605
133 The Inability to Disconfirm 1592
134 Zealots 1585
135 Death 1584
136 Presenteeism 1568
137 Pregnancy 1557
138 Selfie Stick 1522
139 Fake Lawns 1494
140 The Movie Frozen 1481
141 Marriage 1480
142 Pathogenic Bacteria 1458
143 Global Warming 1451
144 Soy 1439
145 Friend-Zone Opportunists 1439
146 Hunting Cry Babies 1438
147 Superbugs 1433
148 Disney 1431
149 Gossip 1406
150 Indignant Drivers 1402
151 Helping Friends Move 1347
152 Slippery Slope Arguments 1339
153 Hyphenated Names 1332
154 Zombie Apocalypse Planners 1318
155 Confirmation Bias 1314
156 Ants 1313
157 Poly-Evangelists 1308
158 Hiccups 1303
159 Everyone Needs to Lose 20 Pounds 1296
160 Spoiler Cry Babies 1262
161 Geriatric Action Heroes 1261
162 Income Tax 1242
163 Star Wars Prequel Apologists 1241
164 Last Call 1216
165 Envy / Jealousy 1212
166 Concussions 1192
167 Sandy Hook Conspiracy Dipshits 1190
168 Tractors Pulling Out In Front Of You 1179
169 No One Teaches You How To Have Sex Good 1178
170 Human Driving Directions 1160
171 People Who Complain About Being Cold All The Time 1143
172 Home Schooling 1123
173 Babies 1121
174 Automatic Hand Dryers 1111
175 Internet Addiction 1109
176 Addiction 1105
177 Neil deGrasse Tyson 1075
178 Elf on the Shelf 1065
179 Shitting Your Pants 1052
180 Hotdog Truthers 1033
181 Flowers 1029
182 Hangovers 993
183 Street Art Abolitionists 987
184 Hay Fever 980
185 Sleep Deprivation 977
186 Prank Bros 976
187 Too Much Star Wars Merchandise 973
188 Mosquitoes 962
189 Automatic Sensors 959
190 Speech Recognition 944
191 Decision Fatigue 943
192 Armchair Economists 940
193 No Fun League 920
194 The War On Drugs 919
195 Spending Too Much On Christmas Gifts 917
196 First-Time Child Experts 908
197 Shit 904
198 Other People Shitting In Your Toilet Who Are Not You 878
199 The Travel Bug 877
200 Expensive Steak 861
201 The Death of Phone Calls 853
202 Humorless Stupid People 826
203 Mandatory Holiday Shifts 808
204 Facebook Video 792
205 The Whole Virgin-Birth Thing 791
206 Tipping 786
207 New Year's Resolutions 784
208 Not Enough Bartenders 781
209 Cowardly Perverts 775
210 Road Blockheads 770
211 The Resolution Race 765
212 Halloween Not Being Recognized as a National Holiday 760
213 Bureaucracy 741
214 Haters 736
215 Jury Duty 734
216 Pizza Snobs 715
217 Slouching 714
218 Burning Your Mouth On Hot Food 711
219 Emoji 689
220 Artificial Scarcity of Pretzel Buns 689
221 The End of Shows 646
222 People Who Don't Dress Up On Halloween 640
223 Attention Deficit Disorder Diagnosis 638
224 McDonald's 617
225 No Quality Singles 616
226 Man Buns 616
227 Poor Gym Etiquette 605
228 Murderers 604
229 Bathroom Attendants 591
230 Forest Fires 588
231 Free Water Cups 584
232 Asteroids 573
233 Banging Your Funny Bone 561
234 Acne 554
235 Job Lynch Mobs 553
236 Helicopter Parents 553
237 Bottled Water 511
238 Google Delegators 501
239 Being Black 501
240 Zombies 499
241 Celebrity Prom Requests 482
242 Superhero Obsession 463
243 Twitter 461
244 Ducking Autocorrect 439
245 Women 436
246 Lady Thor 436
247 Ugly Christmas Sweater Parties 435
248 Losing the Remote 433
249 Not Enough Razor Blades In Candy 400
250 Stoner Marketing 393
251 Long Emails 389
252 Bachelor Parties 389
253 Receipts 373
254 The Netflix "Are you still watching?" Button 345
255 Adults Living With Their Parents 345
256 The Texting Batter's Box 332
257 Lines 288
258 Guys Asking Other Guys About Their Dogs 285
259 The Golem Effect 276
260 The Pronoun "They" 273
261 People Who Don't Understand Social Cues 226
262 Fuckface Donald Trump 217
263 Anti-Cyclists 204
264 No Fumar 187
265 Voicemail 183
266 The Pope 183
267 Bits 180
268 Wine Snobs 164
269 Ham-fisted Video Game Stories 152
270 Goofy Lightsabers 145
271 Families 86
272 Post-Credit Scenes 81
273 Gourmet Dog Food 45
274 Overpriced Vintage Clothing 36
275 Bumper Stickers 16
276 Know-it-all Masseuses 0
277 Burlesque Dancers -1
278 Monkeys -20
279 Political Satire -42
280 Undercooked Rice -48
281 Sex With The Ex -63
282 Overpopulation Alarmists -72
283 Bicyclers -131
284 Getting Too High -137
285 Maddox Gets No Credit -139
286 Junk In The Trunk -140
287 People Who Talk About Their Dreams -145
288 Nerd Culture -149
289 People Who Complain About What Others Are Doing On Social Media -175
290 The Washington Redskins Controversy -179
291 Smart Phone Fact Finding Fuckheads -179
292 Tinder -227
293 Unfair Internet Bans -256
294 The BBC -271
295 Q-Tips -281
296 The Female Orgasm -291
297 Audiophiles -350
298 Crickets -381
299 Christmas Trees -405
300 Cop Motorcycle Fairings -413
301 People Who Turn Left -432
302 Chatty Uber Drivers -449
303 Wallets -574
304 Haunts -583
305 Kid Prison -698
306 People Who Love to Sleep -732
307 High Heels -817
308 Dropbox / Cloud Storage -854
309 Lottery Winners -912
310 "Wash Me" -952
311 Self-Checkout Lanes -994
312 Spooning Victims -1025
313 Changing Your Sheets -1025
314 Catcalling -1049
315 Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey -1105
316 Table Nazis -1138
317 Too Long Shorts -1180
318 Condoms -1185
319 Spiderwoman's Ass -1362
320 Nut-hugging Android Fanboy Cheerleaders Who'd Rather Jerk Off Over Stats and Features in their Basement Than Talk To People in Real Life -1435
321 Horses -1572
322 Sharks -1656
323 Having Sex In Weird Places -1702
324 Love -1743
325 Leaving Your Fly Open -1769
326 Walking -1962
327 Chaise Sofas -2013
328 Shy People / Introverts -2055
329 Dogs -2096
330 Snakes -2148
331 Indignant Co-hosts -2290
332 America Sucks at Soccer -2354
333 Jennifer Lawrence's Tits -2523
334 French Bread -2677
335 Guardians of the Galaxy -2851
336 Satire -3083
337 Libertarian Theory -3311
338 Too Much Swearing -3755
339 The Concept of a Home Owner's Association As The Perfect Representation of a Libertarian Government Which Dick Insists It's Not So Vote It Down -3897
340 Maddox -4166
341 Missing Your Fantasy Football Draft -4257
342 Fries -4718
343 Tesla -5312

Solutions:

The "solutions" episodes were bonus episodes where we discussed so-called solutions to some of the world's biggest problems. Thank you to all the fans that paid for these episodes, your contributions paid for the cost of production, transcripts and extra time it took to make these.


Since the show's demise, there have been many pirated and unofficial copies of these hosted elsewhere, so rather than getting them from untrusted sources, I've made them all available for you here indefinitely. You can listen to them with your favorite RSS reader, or if you prefer, the entire playlist is available at the bottom of this page. As with the problem episodes, these can't be hosted on YouTube due to DMCA issues, please don't post them to YouTube.

Bonus Episode 1

Bonus Episode 2

Bonus Episode 3

Bonus Episode 4

Bonus Episode 5

Bonus Episode 6

Bonus Episode 7

Bonus Episode 8

Bonus Episode 9

Bonus Episode 10

Bonus Episode 11

Bonus Episode 12

Bonus Episode 13

Bonus Episode 14

Bonus Episode 15

Bonus Episode 16

Bonus Episode 17

Bonus Episode 18


Rank
All the solutions:
1 Nuclear Power 2479
2 Critical Thinking 2209
3 Kicking Ass 2139
4 Meat 2020
5 Genetic Engineering 1954
6 Income-based Fines 1517
7 Euthanasia 1494
8 Refrigeration 1462
9 Soap 1436
10 Free Birth Control 1341
11 Legalized Prostitution 1326
12 Encrypting Everything 1217
13 Abortion 1104
14 Malala Yousafzai 1087
15 Beer 987
16 #freethenipple 944
17 Satellites 940
18 Fire 916
19 Flight 893
20 Lesbians 879
21 3D Printing 797
22 Lenses 787
23 Math 779
24 NASA 758
25 Computer Programming 749
26 Boxes 747
27 More Nudity (International Genital Index) 625
28 Anonymous Comments 614
29 Right on Red 610
30 Lifting 610
31 Ask for a raise 602
32 Monkeys 575
33 Addresses 528
34 Cup Holders 509
35 Sandwiches 500
36 Guns 497
37 Analgesics 495
38 Batteries 475
39 The Superhero Pose 456
40 Bill Gates 447
41 Cans 399
42 Underpants 373
43 Floss 363
44 Television 358
45 Polio 354
46 Steam Engines 352
47 Shoes 318
48 Pragmatism 304
49 Temperance 280
50 Retirement Homes 280
51 Generosity 278
52 Welding 273
53 Homeless Housing 263
54 Deworming Pills 255
55 Tapping Your Back Pocket To Make Sure Your Wallet is Still There 244
56 Online Tracking 227
57 Art 200
58 Oculus Rift / Virtual Reality 163
59 Cuteness 146
60 Springs 111
61 Meditation 41
62 Illustrated Condoms 9
63 The Corporation -172
64 Advertising -254
65 Time Travel -358
66 Rude People -431
67 Ronald Reagan -436
68 Riots -1018
69 iTunes -1022
70 Dumb People -1226
71 Surge Pricing -1295
72 The Apple Watch -1846


And if you prefer just to listen to the episodes, here's the full playlist:

And for those looking for an RSS feed to the playlist, click here.

© 2016 Maddox This page was made using vi in Linux. Anything else is for failures.