Episode 99

April 5, 2016, Dick

Episode 99 Transcript courtesy of Laurie Foster

Facebook Video 792
Banging Your Funny Bone 561
Political Satire -42

That's it ladies and gentlemen! This is the very last double digit episode. This is the very last time Sean will have not brought in a problem. This is the very last time alphanumeric sorting of our podcast episodes will be convenient. But if you think we're going to have a 99th episode of problems without a bitch being one, you're wrong! Welcome back special guest Asterios Kokkinos! Just kidding, I love Asterios. And he has a problem that will blow your mind!

Special thanks to Casper for sponsoring this episode. Go to https://casper.com/biggest and use the promo code "biggest" to get $50 off, or don't to pay $50 more.

Maddox starts the episode with Facebook Video. It's rare when a company can screw over their platform's content creators, advertisers, and users all in one stroke; but that's just what the talented folks at Facebook Video are doing-cramming autoplay videos into your feed like they're shoving a big blue thumb up your ass, screwing advertisers outside the box with 3 second ad "plays", and profiting from out of control piracy. There's no joke on that last one because it isn't a joke and I don't see how these guys don't have the hipster sued out of them. Hey, there's a solution for next month: Class Action Lawsuits. Fuck Facebook Video.

Asterios breaks bad with his problem of Political Satire. I don't want to put words in his mouth, but I'm pretty sure he's saying that John Oliver is a sanctimonious, disingenuous, pandering shill with a message crafted only to turn his followers into smug, parroting advertisements for his garbage show and garbager Drumpf hats, but I may have misinterpreted some parts. Political satire has become a toothless tiger, a shameless and calculated alchemy of outrage porn and marketing demographics that is as cloying as it is cloistering. Instead of an agent of change, it's become an opiate for the disenfranchised, the closed-minded and the self-congratularati. But maybe Asterios is wrong. After all, it is 2016! Vote it up.

I round off the episode with Banging Your Funny Bone. That's the only bone in the world no one wants banged. Vote it up!

Tune in next week for our big 100th episode celebration and the crushing aftermath of Maddox's Voyager wager as featured on the bonus episode, which you can buy for $1.33!

Thanks to Asterios for being on the show, check out Asterios' The Enemies of Twenty-Something Mega Man Part II: www.devastatorpress.com/megaman2 And follow him on Twitter @asterios.

Incredible thumbnail courtesy of Ali Hassanein Instagram - https://instagram.com/alihassanein

Sources: Medium - Theft, Lies and Facebook Video