Perfectionism	1439
People Who Complain About Being Cold All The Time	669
Forest Fires	288
See All the Problems...

This week, idiots who are too hot and idiots who are too cold. I bring in a problem and a potential solution to that problem in the same episode (though still a problem in its own right). Dick and Sean walked right into my trap that I baited them with this episode.

Plus, we reveal that Shifty Sean actually did bring in a problem for our 1-year-anniversary, but the problem mysteriously got deleted. Who could have done it? What happened? We’ll find out soon enough…

Special thanks to Harry’s for sponsoring this episode. Use the promo code “BIGGESTPROBLEM” for $5 off your first purchase.

In case you missed the announcement last episode, here’s the book announcement. Thumbnail Credit: Jack Tubbs

Sources:
WildfireToday – Some surprisingly robust statistics about forest fires
FEMA – Some cool deathly statistics about forest fires.

The post Episode 54 appeared first on The Biggest Problem in the Universe.

Bad Blowjobs	1212
Psychics	1191
Automatic Sensors	699
See All the Problems...

This week we’re joined by the very funny and badass, Ron Babcock. His Instagram account, @heyron, has some of the best tour photos I’ve ever seen. Here’s one of my favorite sketches Ron has done:

Last episode lured a lot of armchair economists out of the woodwork, and everyone except for me and a few critical thinkers in the comments section turned out to be idiots. Ironically, the care package we received last episode with the broken bottles turned out to be way more valuable than had those bottles shown up intact. Maddox: 1, Economists: 0 (forever).

Speaking of psychics, I didn’t have time to mention it on the show, but in 2011 a psychic claimed to have a vision about a mass grave in Texas, which caused police to search an innocent couple’s property while the FBI, police dogs and helicopters buzzed overhead, which caused their neighbors to think they might be murderers. The psychic turned out to be wrong (gasp).

This week’s sponsor is our own bonus episode, thanks for supporting our show: Bonus Episode 7

In case you missed the announcement last episode, here’s the big news: I’m writing a new book. Thumbnail credit: All me

And finally, the closing song, “Maddoxnomics”, by Robert Araujo.

Sources:
Discovery – Fake predictions by fake psychics cause real damage to real people
Caltech – Tangshan Earthquake shits all over the broken window fallacy: p. 852, “A contract system in which the building funds came from future profits and tax relief.”

The post Episode 53 appeared first on The Biggest Problem in the Universe.

Armchair Economists	678
Bicyclers	-29
See All the Problems...

Our big 1 year anniversary episode! And my big announcement is finally here:

Click here or go to hell

Here’s the hilarious song by @BandWagonBedlam:

And Bags of Sand by Christopher Strand

Want to support our show? Special thanks to Harry’s for sponsoring this episode. Use the promo code “BIGGESTPROBLEM” (or just click on the link) for $5 off your first purchase.

And here are all the pictures from the Butt Sanchez package:

Special thanks to @Reverend_Scott and Andy McKee for the song at the end. Make sure to listen past the closing theme song.

Thumbnail credit: Jack Tubbs

And in case my website goes down due to traffic, here’s a direct link to the sign-up form: sign up here.

Sources:
About – The busted broken window fallacy
Investopedia – The broken window fallacy in more detail
Expert Reviews – Some of the technology and industries that came out of World War II
Bicycle Universe – Bikes vs. Cars Energy Calculator
Daily Mail – Bicycling wrecks your prostate

The post Episode 52 appeared first on The Biggest Problem in the Universe.

Earthquakes	1651
Gossip	1022
Flowers	886
Bachelor Parties	334
See All the Problems...

Ever heard of an industry so shitty that boycotting it would make things worse? Think about that next time you buy flowers for your mom. And speaking of, happy Mother’s Day, suckers! And I didn’t even get to mention this in the episode, but the simple act of buying your wife flowers will make her think you’re cheating on her (source below).

Plus, a big announcement on my website…

Also, Dick brings in a problem that objectively deserves to be on this list. Just not higher than #11. We’re one episode away from our milestone of 52! What a fun number, just rolls off the tongue.

Thumbnail: Diego Rivera, The Flower Carrier, 1935

Sources:
US Leap – The depressing lives of flower workers
Times of India – Buying flowers for your wife? Nice try, cheater.
Psychology Today – To gossip or not to gossip? That is the stupid title.

The post Episode 51 appeared first on The Biggest Problem in the Universe.

Buy This Episode ($1.99)

Buy This Season ($15.99)

The Season Pass includes Bonus Episodes 1-12 and you’ll receive the episodes the day they’re released. It’s a discount, not a time machine. Buying each individual episode would cost about $24 per year, so the season pass offers you a discount of $24 $7.89! That’s more than $6 and almost $8!

Now Available on iTunes

Polio	313
Riots	-632
Dumb People	-739
The Apple Watch	-960
See All the Solutions...

This month’s bonus show is a spicy one where 50% of the show’s hosts think outcomes are related to justifications. Plus we have a lively debate about what a huge piece of shit The Apple Watch is. Those may or may not be my opinions. Only one way to find out! Plus, Dick brings in a solution with a twist, like some kind of fruity cocktail.

Regarding the Martin Luther King quote I mentioned on this episode, I couldn’t find it and I think it’s probably a misattributed quote I read somewhere.

Update:

Though Martin Luther King was fundamentally opposed to violent protest, he has this quote about riots:

“A riot is the language of the unheard.”

-Martin Luther King Jr.

Finally, here are some sources mentioned:

Wikipedia – 1933 Wisconsin Milk Riots
Wikipedia – 1919 Race Riots of Chicago
Patch.com – One of the first drive-by shooting incidents during the Chicago Riots
New York Times (1919) – New York Times article about the fires set during the 1919 riots
New York Times (1919) – The Haynes Report and Gov. Lowden’s study

If you have any trouble with the single episode or Season Pass download link and need it re-sent to your email address, use this link.

The post Bonus Episode 7 appeared first on The Biggest Problem in the Universe.

Unexpected Guests	2165
High School Prom	1618
First-Time Child Experts	498
See All the Problems...

Big surprise this week in our Big 50th episode, and what may be the most elaborate prank Dick and I have ever experienced. We’re joined by special guest, @Asterios again. Except now he has a new nickname: The Sneaky Greek or Greek Sneak, along with his sidekick, Shifty Sean. Speaking of, here’s the brilliant “The Enemies of Twenty-Something Mega Man” series:

http://devastatorpress.com/megaman2/

And because you asked, here’s a picture of Sean:

Special thanks to Casper for sponsoring this episode, go to casper.com/biggest. It really helps us support the show, thanks to everyone who has supported our sponsors for keeping us going for 50 episodes.

The hilarious song/voicemail at the end of the episode is by @Reverend_Scott with music by Andy McKee. Make sure to listen past the closing theme song. And finally, here’s that fan art sent in by Canon Manley of drunk Dick throwing a shitty orange. You know it’s not a Cara Cara orange because I’d be right there to catch it in my mouth:

Thumbnail credit: Jack Tubbs

Sources:
New York Times – Unwanted parenting advice from strangers
Scary Mommy – Snarky response to unwanted parenting advice from actual parents to actual parents (aka, not Dick)

The post Episode 50 appeared first on The Biggest Problem in the Universe.

Wage Gap Truthers	2662
Reefer Madness	1787
Getting Too High	-71
See All the Problems...

It was 4/20 this week, which means everyone lights up and celebrates weed on the day Hitler was born. Dick makes an impassioned case for why pot should be legalized, and why people who smoke too much of it are idiots.

We also go more in-depth about the wage gap article and video I released recently. Here it is in all its debunking glory:

Here’s the Charlie Brown fan art we received from John Nikolouzos:

And this accurate piece:

And for those of you who are still blazing, here is the Sativa Sean song by Christoffer Strand.

Thumbnail credit:
Clay Rodery, Illustrator. http://www.clayrodery.com/

Sources:
Maddox – Nobody will ever read them, but all my sources are here

The post Episode 49 appeared first on The Biggest Problem in the Universe.

Obesity	2774
Bacon Worship	1916
Income Tax	881
See All the Problems...

I’ve got a stats for you. Who has two thumbs, an expensive watch and is writing this episode’s post? Dick Masterson, that’s who.

Like usual, controversy begins before the show does as we count down to a major milestone, but which one are we counting down to? 50 episodes or 1 year? Voice your opinion in the comments or by voting down monkeys.

Maddox attempts to shit himself out of the shit he stepped in with last week’s Guardians of the Galaxy problem. That problem went down harder than the Titanic. Or did it? Maybe we’ll find out in the next 30-second installment.

I bring in a timely vote grab: Income Tax. Maddox brings in some alarming stats on obesity, like that cars and trucks consume 938 million additional gallons of fuel per year transporting the weight Americans have put on since the 60s. And lastly, we invite everyone who worships at the Church of Bacon to try a bacon-wrapped go-fuck-yourself.

See you next Tuesday.

Thumbnail credit:
Jack Tubbs

Sources:
WHO – Obesity stats
CDC – Fat adolescents increased over 400% since 1980
LiveScience – Cars & Trucks consume more fuel to haul ass
National Priorities – Tax money comes in, Tax money goes out
Tax Foundation – Average worker pays over $8,000 in income tax
Whitehouse.gov – Tax Calculator, if you put in your salary and turn it upside-down, it says FUCK YOU.

The post Episode 48 appeared first on The Biggest Problem in the Universe.

Losing Your Cell Phone	1397
"Wash Me"	-699
Guardians of the Galaxy	-1948
See All the Problems...

I gave everyone blue balls by hinting that I’d bring in Guardians of the Galaxy a few episodes ago. Well it has finally come. And by it, I mean you. I shit all over the movie in this episode. I didn’t even get to all of my gripes due in part to Dick’s inexplicable love for boring superheroes like Superman.

And here’s the little dick that Dick found on his car. I wonder who drew this work of art?

Dick suggested that there was no other movie in which the good guy distracts the bad guy with dance, so I did some research. Here you go:

Stupid Austin Powers dance to destroy the “fembots:”

Lion King (thanks to listener Sayan Ban for pointing this out):

Uhura from Star Trek dancing to distract the bad guys:

Chris Tucker from Rush Hour basically only had a repertoire of dance moves (though technically this wasn’t done to distract the bad guy since his car has already been exploded):

Sources:
TV Tropes Great Escape
TV Tropes Spanner in the works
Twitter @tweet_secrete – “One of these things…” song
Picosong Full Dick BBC song

The post Episode 47 appeared first on The Biggest Problem in the Universe.

Vine Stars	1147
The BBC	-120
See All the Problems...

Big episode this week, with the most elaborate Dick vs Dick in the show’s history, going all the way back to episode 1. Also, Dick’s penchant for shitty Vine videos and his hatred of the BBC. I love the BBC and I would change my last name to BBC out of spite if I had a last name.

Here’s the picture of what I’d look like with a sumo bun.

Even when someone tries to make me look like a hipster, I look like a badass.

Sources:
IB Times Rainn Wilson drops vine star
BBC – BBC Fees
The Guardian – BBC Spendings
Wikipedia – How BBC fees are collected
Twitter – Dick’s agenda to ban the BBC

The post Episode 46 appeared first on The Biggest Problem in the Universe.

Buy This Episode ($1.99)

Buy This Season ($15.99)

The Season Pass includes Bonus Episodes 1-12 and you’ll receive the episodes the day they’re released. It’s a discount, not a time machine. Buying each individual episode would cost about $24 per year, so the season pass offers you a discount of $24 $7.89! That’s more than $6 and almost $8!

Now Available on iTunes

Euthanasia	976
Monkeys	454
Guns	344
Retirement Homes	155
See All the Solutions...

Way back in Episode 22, I mentioned my vile hippy neighbor who sprayed water inside my car window. In this month’s bonus episode, the saga continues–and this time, with audio! I brought in a recording of her assaulting the neighborhood with her megaphone of stupidity. Go vote up hippies. The hippy threat is still there and our roads still have pot holes that need to be filled. Why doesn’t anyone other than me connect the dots?

Also, Dick finally tells us his story about how he and his “life coach” changed California gun laws (hint: go vote up slacktivists). And I discuss a humane alternative to breathing.

Finally, here are some sources mentioned:

The Biggest Problem int he Universe – Episode 22
Wikipedia – Euthanasia
Telegraph – Nazis first euthanasia “patient”
GlynnDevins – Retirement home listicle
ABC News – Retirement homes can sometimes be awful, but the abuse numbers are conflated

If you have any trouble with the single episode or Season Pass download link and need it re-sent to your email address, use this link.

The post Bonus Episode 6 appeared first on The Biggest Problem in the Universe.

Utah	2077
Mars One	2075
Penis Injuries	1984
Loud Talkers	1826
See All the Problems...

Love overbearing governments, nothing to do and anal? Utah might be for you. Plus, Dick breaks his penis and I eat a steak with a dash of barf.

Here’s that clip from Boiler Room I mentioned in this episode:

“We could use you at a two.”

And here’s the bingo game again if you want to play along while listening:

http://nathanc.me/bpbingo

Update: The 3kHz hum has been fixed. It was filtered out and shoved up someone’s ass.

Here’s Greg Simon’s full song played this episode: “If He Could Turn Back Time: Dick vs Dick”

Sources:
Purdue Review – Defining Conservatism
Thrillist – Some of the crazy drinking laws in Utah
Harris Polls – Loud talkers ranks #2 on the list of annoyances
Medium – Mars One “Scam” and the full story

The post Episode 45 appeared first on The Biggest Problem in the Universe.

The Biggest Problem in the Universe – LIVE #4 of 4:

Vote on the problems below:

Well-Intentioned Idiots	3200
The Huffington Post	2455
Unsolicited Advice	2095
Smart Phone Fact Finding Fuckheads	-201
Kid Prison	-727
See All the Problems...

Here’s the article that this week’s problem was based on: http://thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=dancing_man Dick, the contrarian-in-chief, did his best to defend party girls. I go into a lot more detail on my website with relevant tweets and sources:

The final live episode that we recorded at YouTube Space is available here: LIVE Episode #4

Thanks to us for sponsoring this episode. Here’s a link to the bonus episode we played clips from at the top of the show: Bonus Episode 5. Also available on iTunes.

Sources:
Maddox – The Dancing Man and the Cult of Well-Intentioned Idiots
Rolling Stone – Rolling Stone article with editor’s note

The post Episode 44 + LIVE #4 appeared first on The Biggest Problem in the Universe.

The Biggest Problem in the Universe – LIVE #3 of 4:

Vote on the problems below:

Chump Syndrome	1659
Spoiler Cry Babies	1059
The Pronoun "They"	289
People Who Turn Left	-287
Having Sex In Weird Places	-1255
See All the Problems...

Spoiler alert: if you care about spoilers, you’re an idiot and your children won’t get into a good college. In this episode, I make a case for how left turns cause terrorism and Dick reminisces about his man and the Duke & Dutchess of weed. Speaking of, here are a few of those Sean memes:

Thanks to @HeroGreg

Watch LIVE Episode #3 by clicking on the link I mentioned eight words ago in this sentence. Three down, one to go.

Thumbnail credit:
Jack Tubbs

Here are the pictures of fat people made skinny from Reddit’s FatsoShop thread:

Thanks to Harry’s for sponsoring this episode. Use the code biggestproblem when checking out to save $5 off your purchase and it’ll help our show.

Here’s the dashcam footage that listener Zach Garness sent in where a car loses control and fishtails (probably turning left) while he was listening to The Biggest Problem in the Universe in the background:

And here’s Wauterboi’s song we played at the end of this episode.

Finally, Bonus Episode 5 and the great Oculus Rift debate is now available on iTunes.

Sources:
PubMed – Manuka honey shits all over Dick’s superbug problem. Maybe.
USA Today – No left turn: Companies try to save fuel as prices rise
Washington Post – The case for almost never turning left while driving
Bloomberg – UPS Makes no left turns in quest to deliver sustainability

The post Episode 43 + LIVE #3 appeared first on The Biggest Problem in the Universe.

The Biggest Problem in the Universe – LIVE #2:

Vote on the problems below:

Student Loans	2684
Fit Shaming	1839
Superbugs	1023
Hotdog Truthers	837
People Who Complain About What Others Are Doing On Social Media	-289
See All the Problems...

The backlash to “fat shaming” seems to be “fit shaming,” which is abjectly stupid. I could spend all day eating overpriced steak while standing in line at the Apple store and hammering nails into my pee-hole, and fit-shamers would still be dumber. Also, Dick doubles down on his non-theory about allergens, and doesn’t like to read NPR or any other news source.

I also get yelled at for fact-checking as a side effect of Dick’s powerful anti-fact antibodies. Despite that, I was correct about the life-expectancy rate around the turn of the century (sources below), as well as the BBC article about peanutbutter, the NPR article about the new antibiotic that kills superbugs. I’m right about everything.

Also, the Live episode #2 is live.

Easter Egg:

At the end of this episode, I went on a rant about “lucid dreaming” and mentioned an article I wrote but never posted. It’s actually available on my server, and the URL is pretty obvious if you look for it. If anyone finds the article, I’ll post it here and give you a shout-out. Well that was fast. Listener Justin Main found the article almost immediately after this episode went live. So as promised, here it is, my previously unpublished article titled: “Lucid Dreaming is a waste of time” – http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=lucid_dreaming

Thumbnail Credits:
Thanks to illustrator @sword_and_ink for the kickass thumbnail.

Here’s the picture from the Brazzers porn, “Tour of London: Part Two,” that a fan sent in to compare to my jacket from the live episode:

Thanks to Audible. Check out http://audiblepodcast.com/biggest for a free audio book download. And here’s the fit-shaming image of Maria Kang:

Sources:

NPR – The NPR article that shits all over Dick’s problem this week.

BBC – Children who started eating peanuts earlier in life had allergy levels 10 times lower than children who didn’t. So I guess it’s crazy to extend this theory to other allergens or drugs we’re exposed to, even though it applies to hot sauce, martial arts and caffeine.
Berkeley – Life expectancy by decade

Thumbnail:
Illustrator – @sword_and_ink
FDA – Petri Dish
NIAID – Bacteria

The post Episode 42 + LIVE #2 appeared first on The Biggest Problem in the Universe.

Buy This Episode ($1.99)

Buy This Season ($15.99)

The Season Pass includes Bonus Episodes 1-12 and you’ll receive the episodes the day they’re released. It’s a discount, not a time machine. Buying each individual episode would cost about $24 per year, so the season pass offers you a discount of $24 $7.89! That’s more than $6 and almost $8!

Now Available on iTunes

Soap	788
Anonymous Comments	401
Addresses	298
Oculus Rift / Virtual Reality	80
See All the Solutions...

I have some dire predictions about a dystopian future hellscape where the world is ruled by a class of virtual people guarded by patsies and machines who enslave dumb people to produce raw materials to feed our brains. Illustrator Clay Rodery made the kickass thumbnail for this. I seem to be the only person who sees the full potential benefit and risk of “Oculus Rift” or similar technology.

Also, want some facts about soap that are probably from the CDC, NHS.UK or other government website that Dick simultaneously cites but doesn’t trust? Here’s Global Soap, an organization that sends soap to people.

Last bonus episode, we played Biggest Problem Bingo that listener @CallDaCopsIDGAF made, but a number of you were too lazy to make your own card, so another listener, @Subtlebots, created randomized version of it. Just click “New Board” at the top to play along. The current board is updated with references to this episode. It’s pretty badass:

http://nathanc.me/bpbingo

The incredible thumbnail was created by: Clay Rodery, Illustrator. http://www.clayrodery.com/

And finally, here are some sources mentioned:

Global Soap – http://www.globalsoap.org
Wikipedia – A boring, but important page about addresses
CDC.gov – When and how to wash your hands, written for 3-year-olds, or the only people who would Google something like that.
Wikipedia – Ignaz Semmelweis

If you have any trouble with the single episode or Season Pass download link and need it re-sent to your email address, use this link.

The post Bonus Episode 5 appeared first on The Biggest Problem in the Universe.

Recently Enlightened People	1382
Hay Fever	727
Bathroom Attendants	388
See All the Problems...

We are joined by a very special, fan-favorite guest this week. You asked for it, so you got it. Here’s a plug for our guest’s upcoming project:

Fans of angry rebukes of our fans should love this episode. Plus, live episode 2 coming next Tuesday, March 3rd. Also, “Guardians of the Galaxy” sucks full-time. Everyone’s an idiot except for me.

Sincerely,
-Maddox, Thought Leader

Thumbnail by:
Clay Rodery, Illustrator. http://www.clayrodery.com/

Sources:
The Telegraph – Honey includes wind-blown pollens from grass and birch trees that may help mitigate allergy symptoms.
Boring as Heck – Science for the motherfreaking win.

The post Episode 41 appeared first on The Biggest Problem in the Universe.

Vote on the problems below:

Episode 40 Transcript courtesy of Laurie Foster

Newscasterbation	1939
Ethnic Cleansing	1705
Other People Shitting In Your Toilet Who Are Not You	705
Nerd Culture	-198
People Who Love To Sleep	-635
See All the Problems...

First: this episode was delayed, the live episode was delayed, everything is delayed. The reason is because we ran into some technical hurdles for legal clearance because it turns out it was too awesome. It’s a bunch of technical bullshit that nobody cares about, not even us, but the episode is coming either late tonight or early tomorrow morning (Feb 18). If it doesn’t, I’ll shave Dick’s eyebrows as punishment.

The live episode is live.

This episode we hear more stupid Titanic bullshit, along with a fan-made Titanic song by Grant Mooney, which is among the worst things I’ve ever heard (up there with babies and the laughter of children). Then we hear a cool song by Jiggity Smith. And our favorite segment, “On this day in Shitstory” makes a return thanks to Boisterous Coconuts.

Sources:
WebMD.com – The risks of oversleeping, which include death, diabetes and being an idiot.
ABC News – Christiane Amanpour biography – she’s one smart cookie.

The post Episode 40 + LIVE #1 appeared first on The Biggest Problem in the Universe.

Rose Peddlers	1979
Valentine's Day	1921
Sex With The Ex	-17
Love	-1412
See All the Problems...

Ever wanted to hear somebody defend “love” on the grounds that it cures cancer? Hope you like fallacies, because Dick cites a study that does just that without controlling for variables such as increased access to insurance benefits and medical care for couples who are married.

Love increases oxytocin levels in your body, which makes you more trusting. In other words, a mark. It’s the same feeling animals get when licked, or thieves get when they plan a heist. Enjoy getting taken advantage of, suckers. As for me? I’m an unloved genius. And finally, Dick trades in all his remaining man points to defend Valentine’s Day.

Big thanks to Casper for sponsoring this episode. Here’s the picture of the box my King mattress came in. I’m genuinely impressed with the product, delivery and service:

Get $50 off any mattress by going to https://casper.com/biggest and using promo code “biggest”

Thanks to Clay Rodery for the kickass thumbnail. Send your Valentine’s Day Cupid Slaughter art to, maddox@xmission.com:

Thumbnail credits:
Clay Rodery, Illustrator – http://www.clayrodery.com/

Sources:
Psychology Today – Why love is for suckers* (*May not be actual title)
All The Tests – Compatibility test written for morons
NPR – The Dark Origins of Valentine’s Day
Statistic Brain – Depressing Valentine’s day statistics about how women send themselves flowers at work
About Flowers – According to this survey, 19% of women buy themselves flowers on Valentine’s Day. Depressing.

The post Episode 39 appeared first on The Biggest Problem in the Universe.

Ghostbusting the Patriarchy	2038
Type 2 Diabetes	1707
Black Income Disparity	1458
Automatic Hand Dryers	922
See All the Problems...

If you haven’t listened to these episodes past the outro, you’re missing out–bro. we’ve been adding extra voicemail to the end of each episode. This time a fan, Tim Johns, sent in a “spicy erotic audio book” clip called “Changing the Sheets.” It’s an erotic adventure starring yours truly, Dick and a special Boisterous cameo.

Also, prepare to be bummed out with a real problem. You idiots got what you asked for. Dick has a great problem for wrong reasons (full disclosure: opinion just expressed is not necessarily that of Dick’s), and I make a strong case for why automatic hand dryers are a bigger problem than diabetes. That is, unless you don’t think going deaf and breathing gallons of bacteria into your lungs is a problem.

Sources:
CNN – Black and White inequality stats
CNN – The stat that made Sean do a double take
Restroomdirect – Hand dryer noise levels
Tork.com – Hand dryers increase bacteria-forming colonies on hands by up to 254% according to a University of Westminster study

Edit:

Here is Tim Johns’ erotic masterpiece “Changing The Sheets” without the commentary track.

The post Episode 38 appeared first on The Biggest Problem in the Universe.