January 20, 2015, Maddox

Episode 36 Transcript courtesy of Megan Pennock

Loud Muffler Douchebags	4168
Non-Porn Porn	2019
Jury Duty	734
Changing Your Sheets	-1025

We don't often do this here at The Biggest Problem in the Universe, but as a public service announcement, we feel it necessary to mention the following: your obnoxiously-loud exhaust system isn't impressive, won't help you get laid and sounds like shit. You don't need to announce your small penis at 110 decibels.

Also, Dick didn't send me any stats, so I researched it myself and found the bullshit-sounding "study" he referenced about different cars arousing men and women differently. The study was furnished by an insurance company called "Hiscox." Sounds legit (source below). And here, for nobody's viewing pleasure, some non-porn "space porn:"

And "bacon porn" for all you idiots who can't simply enjoy something without calling it "porn:"

As for jury sizes being 12, it varies from country to country and can be as low as 6 in the US, while still meeting constitutional requirements.

Sources: MoneySupermarket.com - Most common reasons people modify their cars: vanity. Wired.com - I did Dick's research for him and actually found this study funded by "Hiscox." Thumbnail credit: Jack Tubbs Thumbnail Sources: Car Court Rims Pipe

Update:

A few fans with a good eye noticed that this thumbnail is a reference to my 2002 hate mail article:

http://maddox.xmission.com/hatemail.cgi#car Good job, Jack Tubbs.

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