Obesity	2774
Bacon Worship	1916
Income Tax	881
See All the Problems...

I’ve got a stats for you. Who has two thumbs, an expensive watch and is writing this episode’s post? Dick Masterson, that’s who.

Like usual, controversy begins before the show does as we count down to a major milestone, but which one are we counting down to? 50 episodes or 1 year? Voice your opinion in the comments or by voting down monkeys.

Maddox attempts to shit himself out of the shit he stepped in with last week’s Guardians of the Galaxy problem. That problem went down harder than the Titanic. Or did it? Maybe we’ll find out in the next 30-second installment.

I bring in a timely vote grab: Income Tax. Maddox brings in some alarming stats on obesity, like that cars and trucks consume 938 million additional gallons of fuel per year transporting the weight Americans have put on since the 60s. And lastly, we invite everyone who worships at the Church of Bacon to try a bacon-wrapped go-fuck-yourself.

See you next Tuesday.

Thumbnail credit:
Jack Tubbs

Sources:
WHO – Obesity stats
CDC – Fat adolescents increased over 400% since 1980
LiveScience – Cars & Trucks consume more fuel to haul ass
National Priorities – Tax money comes in, Tax money goes out
Tax Foundation – Average worker pays over $8,000 in income tax
Whitehouse.gov – Tax Calculator, if you put in your salary and turn it upside-down, it says FUCK YOU.

The post Episode 48 appeared first on The Biggest Problem in the Universe.

Buy This Episode ($1.99)

Buy This Season ($15.99)

The Season Pass includes Bonus Episodes 1-12 and you’ll receive the episodes the day they’re released. It’s a discount, not a time machine. Buying each individual episode would cost about $24 per year, so the season pass offers you a savings of $24 $7.89! That’s more than $6 and almost $8!

Now Available on iTunes

Income-based Fines	1046
Malala Yousafzai	888
Beer	614
Ask for a raise	300
See All the Solutions...

In this, our second ever bonus episode, we talk about a real-life badass who took a bullet in the face by the Taliban to stand up for what she believes in. Suri Cruise wears makeup powder on her face. Malala wears gun powder. Here’s the ABC News clip with a helpful 3D graphic in case you couldn’t visualize a bullet going through a child’s face.

And here’s the full clip of Angelo’s mom angrily ranting about Dick being a dick:

Dick still fails to phrase his solution in a way that neatly fills in the blank, “The biggest solution in the universe is: __________.” And speaking of Dick, here’s the CBS News article about the easiest way to get a promotion.

But enough nonsense about beer and raises to make money so you can buy more beer, here’s the meat & potatoes of this episode: the guy who was fined $962,000 for driving 180mph (290 km/h). And it turns out that although this hasn’t reduced instances of speeding or petty crime, Finnish drivers don’t mind income-based fees because it’s about equity, not about crime reduction. Poor people shouldn’t be punished harder for the same crime. Unless that crime is against me, in which case their punishment will be doled out in two equal parts with my left and right fist right into their stupid criminal mouths.

If you have any trouble with the single episode or Season Pass download link and need it re-sent to your email address, use this link.

The post Bonus Episode 2 appeared first on The Biggest Problem in the Universe.

Buy This Episode ($1.99)

Buy This Season ($15.99)

The Season Pass includes Bonus Episodes 1-12 and you’ll receive the episodes the day they’re released. It’s a discount, not a time machine. Buying each individual episode would cost about $24 per year, so the season pass offers you a savings of $24 $7.89! That’s more than $6 and almost $8!

Now Available on iTunes

Nuclear Power	1526
Kicking Ass	1456
Meat	1350
Surge Pricing	-941
See All the Solutions...

To commemorate the launch of The Biggest Solution in the Universe, we’ve included a supercut of our first-ever unpublished pilot (one of the “lost 6″ episodes). I also called Dick out for being too much of a (|) for not taking my hot sauce challenge, so he finally stepped up to the plate and here’s part of the aftermath:

Listener Brad N sent in this fan art with his prediction of what happened. We finally settled the debate once and for all in this episode:

Here are the astounding stats on how 15 shipping containers are polluting more than every car in the world combined and how shutting down one nuclear plant has set California back by 20 years of carbon emissions. But if you want to read about a real solution to the world’s problems, here’s that Live Science article about how meat was necessary for the development of mankind. And here’s a killjoy article shitting on Dick’s nuclear solution.

But enough pseudo-solutions (pseu-lutions?), here’s that Daigo clip of him kicking ass in Street Fighter III:

And finally, if you want to have your own hot sauce drinking contest with your friends, and then try to read the shameless ramblings of an entitled millennial dipshit, here’s her obnoxious Uber review.

Update:

If you have any trouble with the download link and need it re-sent to your email address, use this link.

The post Bonus Episode 1 appeared first on The Biggest Problem in the Universe.

Other N-words	4214
Everyone Needs to Lose 20 Pounds	949
Monkeys	17
Tesla	-3580
See All the Problems...

Download the Episode

Here’s the “bossy” campaign for thought control:

Here’s the article about the BBC banning the “G-word.”

The post Episode 3 appeared first on The Biggest Problem in the Universe.

Crying	1761
Guys Asking Other Guys About Their Dogs	230
Families	162
Maddox	-4608
See All the Problems...

Download the Episode

The post Episode 1 appeared first on The Biggest Problem in the Universe.